Please don't ask me to- Recapitulation Prequel
by Dani2013
Summary: In Recapitulation there are several references to a conversation between Daryl and Herschel before the fall of the prison. Please don't ask me to is a one shot Recapitulation prequel that addresses this conversation, what lead up to it, and the outcome with an added bonus at the end.


**I don't own the Walking Dead. This is a one-shot sort of prequel with a bonus at the end for Recapitulation. I received a review from someone who stated that they would have loved to have seen Daryl and Herschel's prison conversation about Beth, the one referenced both towards the beginning of the story and also more recently, and I realized that this was something that I would love to write. So here it is with an added bonus as well at the end. I hope everyone enjoys and please don't hesitate to let me know what you think. Thanks!**

 **Please don't ask me to**

Looking back on it Daryl wasn't sure when he first became aware of Beth Greene. There wasn't a moment in those first early days on the farm that she stood out to him, that he took stock of her, that he evaluated her, and added her to his important persons to know list. He was sure that he had always been aware of her, from those very first moments on the farm but, for some reason he had avoided really looking at her. Later he would blame it on the group's turmoil, on worry for Carl, on searching for Sophia. If he were being honest with himself though he would admit that those were simply excuses.

The hunter had survived as long as he had by being observant, by being a quick study of people, by being able to assess situations. He'd had Herschel, Otis, Patricia, Jimmy, and Maggie's measure before the end of the first day. But, for some reason he had glossed over the youngest Greene, avoided looking at her too closely until that unforgettable day at the barn. He'd seen her then, seen her anguish as she'd run to the corpse of her mother, seen as that corpse had almost snuffed out a life he had yet to realize would become so inextricably entwined with his own.

As he'd cradled Carol that day the only feelings the hunter had been able to muster for the slight blonde had been pity. Pity that the girl had been forced to mourn her mother twice, pity that the girl didn't appear long for the world, pity that Herschel's youngest would probably never learn the ways of the new world order. But beyond pity Daryl hadn't given the little blonde more than a passing thought until Lori mentioned in a hushed worried whisper to Rick that the girl had tried to kill herself. For some reason that knowledge had not sat right with Daryl and he had puzzled over why as he had fallen asleep that night in his secluded camp well away from the others.

He might not have allowed himself the time to really take the girls measure but, something about her had struck him as resilient. While he might not have thought that the girl was long for the world he hadn't thought that she would go out by her own hand. He recognized weakness in people, could almost smell it sometimes, and that girl had not struck him as one to opt out. While the puzzle of the girl kept him up a little longer than normal that night he easily put it out of his mind by the next morning and promptly forgot about it.

It wasn't until two weeks later when he was skinning the deer that he had brought back to the farm that he was reminded of his unease about the girl and the fact that he had never really pegged her. He'd set the deer and his tools up outside the small shed row barn where the horses were kept. Nervous Nelly the fractious chestnut that had dumped him was long gone but, a small dark bay by the name of Star still inhabited the barn. The docile gelding was currently grazing in the small pasture attached to the stable and at first Daryl had been unaware that he had company. Beth had been lying in the tall grass of the paddock and apparently the horse had been grazing around her. He hadn't realized she was even there until she'd begun to sing and the words to the song had softly washed over him while he worked.

He'd recognized the song almost immediately from long nights in country western bars with Merle as Alison Krauss's "When you say nothing at all" and the girl's quiet but melodious voice had washed over his weary soul like a balm. He knew of course that she probably hadn't realized that he was even there and he suddenly didn't want her to know. He didn't want her to stop singing, and he froze as she sat up with her back towards him, and her eyes on the horse who had come over to nuzzle her palm as she sang.

As he watched her softly stroke the horses head Daryl had the unbidden thought that he wouldn't mind being that horse right at the moment. The stray thought startled the hunter so much that he shook his head fiercely to clear it but, he did not stop watching her. She was a complexity of inconsistencies. She was slight but, appeared to have a willowy strength. She was soft and gentle but, there were angles to her too. She looked like the wind could bowl her over at a moment's notice but, she had clearly chosen to live when she could have just given up. Her soft lilting voice sounded so sad but, yet there was steel and resolve to it as well.

It wasn't until Daryl's fingers went numb around the knife he was clutching that he realized how long he had been just standing there watching the blonde. He still hadn't really gotten a read on her, still didn't really know what to make of her, when Maggie suddenly came stomping towards them from the house. Daryl could see the displeasure on the brunette's features and he realized suddenly that he hadn't seen Beth without an escort since the day she had flirted with opting out. It was apparent from Maggie's glare that she still wasn't allowed to be unaccompanied. Daryl wasn't sure why the rest of the group felt the need to hover so much. The girl had made her choice, she had chosen to live, if she died now it wouldn't be by her own hand. Her experience had been much like his own when that wretched horse had thrown him down that hill. He had fought his demons and come out on the other side. The little blonde had as well and a guard at this point was ridiculous.

But it wasn't his business to say something so he wouldn't and he was suddenly aware that the angry brunette was glancing between him and the girl somewhat suspiciously. She had caught him staring and before he could analyze why, he found himself blushing violently, and turning away. Readjusting his grip on the knife he had busied himself by going to work on the deer even though he'd kept half an ear on the sister's conversation as well. Just as he'd guessed the brunette had been angry and Beth just as he'd predicted didn't back down from her sisters ire. She might appear meek but, there was fire in that one the hunter mused as she unapologetically handed her sister a dressing down for bothering her. Apparently just as he'd imagined she'd experienced some self-actualization similar to his own and she didn't hesitate to tell her sister that if she really wanted to be dead she would be so kindly stop hovering.

He hadn't been able to stop himself from snorting at the little firecracker's gumption and when he'd looked up he'd realized that Maggie's head had swung towards him again. She was eyeing him with such distrust that he immediately turned back to his work sudden anger seething deep within him. Did the oldest Greene girl think so little of him that she didn't even want him looking in her sister's direction? What did the girl imagine that he was going to do to her little sister?

He was still seething when Beth sent Maggie packing and when several moments later she approached him quietly. He had been so wrapped up in his own head, that he had let his guard down in a very unusual way, and the girl's quiet approach had startled him. It wasn't until she was nearly on top of him that he realized that she was there. She was standing quietly in a pair of jean capri's, black converse shoes, and a yellow eyelet peasant top. Her thick blonde hair was pulled into a loose pony tail and strands of it had escaped and were curling at her temples in the breezy autumn air. When he paused to quirk a sarcastic eyebrow at her he expected her to flee like a frightened little doe.

Instead she offered him a confident half smile as she stepped closer," Thank you."

When he just continued to stare at her like a dim wit she clarified her smile growing slightly," Thank you for hunting, for bringing back more fresh meat for everyone. It means a lot to have somethin substantial ta add to the meal every night."

"You're welcome," he ground out going back to work on the deer and effectively dismissing the girl.

She had even more gumption than he'd imagined though because she still didn't accept his dismissal, standing her ground better than even Shane had on occasion, as she challenged," Ya ain't gotta be so rude."

His spine stiffening he growled," I said you're welcome."

"You said you're welcome but, just cuz ya said it don't mean ya meant it," she rebuffed gently with a knowing smile.

Beth's honest reply had him chocking back a laugh as he agreed with a much greater level of respect for the girl," You're right it don't and for some a the folks back at that camp I don't mean it. Couldn't care less if they starve. But for some like Rick and his family, Carol, Tee, Glenn, Dale it matters," smirking at her the hunter continued," think you just earned your way on ta my list a people that matter girl."

A hand on her hip Beth smirked," If that's the case then ya best learn my name Daryl Dixon cuz it ain't girl and if I am included on that list it oughta be by name."

He was hands deep in deer guts but, Daryl couldn't help himself from wanting to further challenge the feisty blonde. He couldn't help but wonder how far she would take this. They had never really interacted before this and he was intrigued, unable to keep from wondering if she'd always been this way, or if she'd changed after her flirtation with death.

Deciding he didn't care and wanting to see just how far she would allow herself to be pushed he removed his hands from the deer and sticking out the right one he smirked at her challengingly," It's a pleasure ta meet ya Beth Greene. Seems like ya already know my name so," he trailed off waiting to see if she would take his blood covered appendage.

The little spit fire actually stepped towards him as she reached for his hand. Firmly clasping it in her own she grinned cheekily," It's a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance Mr. Dixon."

Pulling back her hand she simply grinned at him in amusement as she gestured towards the house," Now I am going to wash my hands and make nice with my sister who probably wants ta flay me alive. I know she's worried but, she doesn't need ta be," then turning on heel and looking at him over her shoulder she finished," see ya around Daryl," as she sauntered off.

That was the first time Daryl had caught himself watching Beth Greene but, it was far from the last. Something about the tiny enigma fascinated him and he found himself watching her frequently after that. He never did it in an obvious way, never let her see him doing it but, his study of her continued through the long winter after the fall of the farm and into the idyllic days at the prison. Over that long winter Daryl learned that Beth was all the things he'd already observed and more.

Maggie saw her as her helpless little sister, Herschel as the apple of his eye, and most of the rest of the group saw her as a helpless innocent. But, Daryl saw her as something else altogether. Beth was so much more than what they all saw and yet for some reason she never stepped up to assert herself. She bowed to the pressure of the others expectations of her and she was clearly suppressing parts of who she really was. She was strong, she was capable, she was a leader even if no one else saw it. He saw it though, saw it when she cared for everyone ceaselessly over that long winter after the fall of the farm, when she volunteered to go after Maggie and Glenn at Woodbury, when she took on caring for a motherless infant. The girl was strong, she was true, she was honest and good to her core, and she genuinely cared about people. She went out of her way to connect to people, to show them that she cared about them, to do little things to make their lives in this hellscape more meaningful, to be compassionate and loving.

Daryl's careful study of the blonde didn't end after the night he took it upon himself to tell her about Zach, in fact if anything it intensified. Although he'd been studying her for a long time for the most part he had avoided interactions with the woman. There was something about her that made him uneasy and rather than examine it too closely he chose to avoid it. When he had to address her, like when Lori died and he needed her to watch out for Carl, he did it as succinctly as possible. So the night that he'd had to tell Beth about Zach had been the first night he'd personally been on the receiving end of her compassion.

Her response, so mature and pragmatic, had startled him and her care for him and his feelings had shaken him but, it wasn't until she hugged him that he began to understand how much trouble he was really in. Like a frog who had been placed in cold water and slowly brought to a boil he suddenly realized that all of his self-denial had been naught but a fragile and useless façade which came crumbling down in the circle of Beth's embrace.

Rather belatedly he realized that his fascination with Beth stemmed only partially from his desire to figure her out and to figure out why the others didn't seem to really see her. As he turned and walked away from Beth at the conclusion of their hug that night the hunter had suddenly felt like someone had thrown icy cold water at him as with dawning realization he discovered that he wanted more of what she had just offered him. He'd seen her generously bestow it upon others, upon Carl and Rick, Judith and Maggie, and suddenly with startling clarity he realized he wanted it too. He wanted Beth's succor her special brand of comfort when things were tough. He wanted to be able to go to her, to pour out his thoughts and feelings knowing that he wouldn't be judged, to receive absolution in the form of brilliant sunny smiles and kind hopeful words of encouragement. He wanted a confident, a friend, someone who would accept him without finding him lacking, who would stand by him in times of strife.

Shaking his head as he walked through the dark prison hallways the hunter excoriated himself. One simple hug from a pretty woman and he was all ready to fall at her feet and beg for comradery. Beth wouldn't want anything to do with a dirty old redneck like him or with his problems. She was young and vibrant and unsullied and she didn't deserve to be tainted with his darkness no matter how much he yearned for what she could offer. Even if what she personified was what he had been searching for. Rick was his brother but, Rick couldn't empathize with his past. Carol could understand his past but, she wasn't ready to move beyond that past which made talking to her about his issues impossible. She was stuck in the here and now and he didn't want to be. He wanted to be future oriented, to consider who he might become, not who he was.

Besides Carol was a fixer, present the woman with a problem and she fixed it, no matter how she had to go about doing it. He didn't want to be fixed. He needed to do that on his own, that much he understood. He just wanted a sounding board. Someone who could without censure hear him out, let him puzzle through the issue, and then offer advice without expectation. Beth respected people and their right to autonomy that much he had observed about her on numerous occasions. Sometimes she hinted, sometimes she guided gently, and sometimes she herded but, she never forced. She was like this tiny gentle force of nature that pointed people in the right direction and then sat back. In her own way the girl was very much like her father in that regard. People wanted to please Herschel so they tried to meet his expectations. People wanted to please Beth too which Daryl completely understood. One of the hardest things he'd ever done was to bring her the news about Zach.

It wasn't long after that, on a night when the hunter had been unable to sleep and hadn't pulled watch, that Herschel found him pacing the fences in the moonlight. He'd had crews working on shoring up the weak spots in the fence but, the task seemed never ending. He had been mentally cataloguing the places to work on next when Herschel had hailed him quietly from the base of guard tower two.

Approaching the groups patriarch Daryl had nodded in greeting before asking," Everything alright?"

Herschel had nodded in reply before hesitating for a moment. The hunter had rarely seen the stoic older man unsure so he was immediately on edge as the man asked," Do you have a few minutes son?"

"Don't got nothin better ta do," Daryl grinned shifting from one foot to the other as he took Herschel's measure. Then gesturing to the guard tower," this one's empty tonight. Why don't we go up and have a seat. Looks ta me like ya got somethin heavy on your mind."

The older man nodded then and Daryl moved to open the door at the base of the tower. Several minutes later they were seated on lawn chairs on the balcony overlooking the prison yard. Daryl remained quite waiting on Herschel to start talking since he had requested this sit down.

The hunter was jerked from his relaxed state rather violently moments later when Herschel declared rather amusedly," Ya like ta watch my little girl Daryl Dixon."

The hunter couldn't stop his head from swinging towards the other man appalled at having been observed watching Beth when he was sure no one else had noticed. He was just about to stutter out something, what he wasn't actually sure, when Herschel held up a hand with a rather bemused expression," I am not faulting you for it son. I get it really I do. More than you could ever realize."

Finally finding his tongue Daryl growled, " Herschel it ain't what your thinkin it ain't…..," only to be interrupted when the older man reached out to put a hand on his shoulder.

"Do us both a favor and don't finish that thought," Herschel smirked knowingly," we've never lied to each other before Daryl. Let's not start now."

Collapsing under the weight of Herschel's hand the hunter couldn't stop from curling in on himself a bit. He admired Herschel, looked up to him, and now the man had come to tell him to stop looking at his daughter. Shame coursed through the hunter with the violence of a river that had suddenly overflowed its banks. He had known all along he had no right to watch Beth, had chastised himself a million times for doing so but, had always rationalized that it was harmless, that no one else was the wiser for him observing her.

Horrified to have been caught, sure that he was about to endure a lecture on why pathetic old rednecks should stay away from innocent young woman the hunter was completely caught off guard by the older man's next words," This isn't going to last Daryl. This place, what we have here, I can feel it in my bones….the end…..it's coming and I reckon it's gonna be soon."

The hunter scrambled to come up with a reply to Herschel's observation his mind having to do a one eighty from where it was headed in regards to Beth. Making eye contact with Herschel he found the older man watching him patiently as he struggled to formulate a reply.

Finally he murmured," We ain't leavin here. Not after everythin we done ta make this a home. I ain't gonna let that happen."

Dipping his head in respect Herschel smiled sadly as he observed," Sometimes we don't get a choice Daryl. I ain't sayin it's gonna happen that way but, I just…..I've been thinkin a lot lately and too many things can go wrong here. The fences, other people, a horde, who knows," he shrugged," maybe I am overreacting but, I would feel a lot better if you'd hear me out."

"Kay," the hunter grunted," I am listenin."

Herschel's smile dimmed some as he acknowledged," If my fears are realized Daryl and it comes down ta running I won't be able to," when Daryl would have spoken the older man held up a hand," I am not delusional son. I know I can't move quickly or for long periods of time with my prostatic. It's great for around here but, it won't hold up out there," he gestured to the surrounding landscape.

Pausing for a moment Herschel rubbed a hand wearily over his face before continuing," Most everyone here has someone to run with, a partner, someone to look out for them, who will put them and what they need first." Daryl found himself nodding in agreement as Herschel continued dropping the hammer suddenly and without warning," Most everyone but, Bethy anyway."

Suddenly Daryl understood exactly where this conversation was going and his heart began to beat a furious rhythm in his chest as he shook his head fiercely," Please don't ask me to," he moved to stand only to be stopped by Herschel's hand once more settling on his shoulder," please don't ask me to do this Herschel."

With calm steadiness the older man queried," Why son?"

"Because," the hunter stammered trying to find the words he needed," because she has Maggie and Glenn and because it ain't right. I don't," he paused his mouth suddenly as dry as a desert, his tongue sticking to the roof as he grunted," I don't belong anywhere near a girl like Beth. I ain't got anythin ta offer her. She'd be better off with anyone but me."

Shaking his head patiently Herschel argued," Maggie and Glenn will be concerned with each other as well they should be. Maggie loves her sister but, Beth and the baby will be the last thing on her mind if Glenn is in danger or separated from her. Maggie can take care of herself especially with Glenn at her side. They're a good pair, equally matched. I need to know that Bethy is safe too. I need to know that my girls are going to be safe. That they are going to live."

"Then Rick," Daryl started only to be cut off once more," Rick will be worried about Carl and besides I've already spoken to Rick about this because more than likely Judith will be with Beth . Therefore, I wanted to run this by Rick before I spoke to you. So that all three of us are on the same page."

"And what page might that be," the hunter snarled feeling more cornered and defensive than he'd experienced in a long while," the one where you both ask me to take care of your girls instead of doin it yourselves."

Appearing to lose his patience with the hunter just a bit Herschel snorted," You are the most stubborn man I think I have ever met which is saying something. I had a stubborn streak when I was your age but, I think you've got me beat. Tell me Daryl….if you don't do what I am asking who are going to have? Who would you go to," quirking a heavy white brow he smirked," you need Bethy just as much as she needs you. I was trying to spare your feelings son, trying to do this the easy way for your sake but, if you make me go where we're headed I don't have any qualms about doing it."

Launching out of his lawn chair the hunter turned on the man he somewhat considered a father figure," What they hell are you insinuatin Herschel?"

Not the least bit intimidated by the hunter Herschel leaned back in his chair completely relaxed as he drawled," You and me aren't as different as you'd like to think Daryl," when the hunter would have interrupted Herschel gestured towards his vacant chair, "have a seat," he paused waiting several long heavy moments until the younger man complied before continuing," my daddy was a mean drunk who used a bible and a belt to make his point when he was displeased with us. I grew up hating the Lord and loving liquor. I turned away from what could have saved me and ran towards the same thing that destroyed the man I professed to abhor. It wasn't until I met my first wife that I realized I was headed down the path to perdition. I changed for her but, it didn't last after I lost her. I hadn't changed for myself you see and that was the crux of the problem. It wasn't until I met Bethy's mom Annette, my second wife, that I realized that I needed my faith. She helped me to see that the man I wanted to be, he was always right there waiting for me to turn towards good things and away from the bad. Annette saved me as sure as I saved myself because she made me want to be a better man. She gave me something I wanted more than anything else and that made me want to be a better man."

When Herschel was forced to pause for a moment Daryl grunted," That's all well and good but, what does that got ta do with Beth and me?"

Staring at Daryl hard Herschel questioned," Why did you come back here son? After you found your brother? Why did you come back here instead of high tailing it out of the area?"

Sucking in a quick breath Daryl professed," I couldn't leave ya all. Your family now. Merle was blood but, it weren't the same. Ya ain't blood but…," he trailed off with a helpless shrug as if unable to find the words to finish his thoughts.

With a smile Herschel continued," What Annette offered me Daryl was a family. Not the shell of one but, the real honest to goodness thing. You came back here because you need family. If this place falls….if you have to leave here….you have to leave with family or you're going to lose yourself."

Snorting the hunter retorted," And you think Beth and asskicker would be my family?"

Quickly Herschel retorted," I think Bethy and Judith are already your family Daryl. I am saying that they would be good for you and that's why I am asking you to watch out for them."

"Yeah well first of all why are you so sure she'd be good for me and secondly what about Beth huh? What about what she needs cuz I can guarantee it ain't gonna be me," Daryl was agitated and he couldn't stop himself from chewing on his thumb in response.

Instead of answering the hunter the older man posed another question," Why do you watch my daughter Daryl," when the hunter would have denied that fact Herschel shook his head," don't even go there. I know you do. I know you have….for a long time….since back at the farm. I am not asking you if you do. I am asking you why you do?"

The hunter broke out in a cold sweat as he struggled to verbalize to Herschel exactly what he found so fascinating about the blonde. Finally he whispered forcing words past his numb lips ," Cuz she ain't what people think she is. At first I watched her cuz I couldn't get a read on her," he paused to look down picking idly at a loose string on his pants," I can usually read people pretty easy but, with her…..I just couldn't figure her out. Then I did and I realized she ain't what everyone else thinks she is and," he shrugged helplessly before finishing," I don't mean nothin by it. I ain't lookin at her like that. I just….I just like watchin her interact with everyone else," he blushed furiously as he admitted," she's special…..the way she sees the world it's like the bad stuff don't matter, like it's just background noise to all the good…..she's good…like force a nature good…..maybe the best person I ever met," then ferociously," she ain't weak. Not like everyone thinks she is. She ain't."

Looking up the hunter found Herschel grinning at him as the older man murmured softly," No she isn't weak," then turning serious eyes back to the surrounding landscape the older man continued," Annette was one of the strongest woman I've ever met. She had to be to deal with me when we first met. Bethy takes after her mama that way. She's hesitant at first, takes her time getting her feet wet but, once she's in she's all in. That girl doesn't do anything in half measures," catching Daryl's eyes and holding them he warned," you keep that in mind son. Bethy's full a passion and fire and she needs to be tempered sometimes. You're both alike in that manner. You aren't fooling me one bit son and I am warning ya now because one day you're gonna need to remember this. There has to be balance between you."

Flustered Daryl countered gesturing wildly with his arms," There isn't going to be a between us. I told ya I don't mean nothin by watchin her. This whole conversation is ridiculous. Ain't nothin gonna happen either to the prison or between Beth and me."

Herschel had the audacity to laugh then causing Daryl to flush even redder in embarrassment," It ain't funny. I ain't got time for nor an interest in women. If I did I sure wouldn't be focused on no innocent little miss no matter if she's stronger than people think or not. I admire Beth cuz a how she sees the world. That's it. End of story. There ain't nothin else ta say."

The flustered hunter had barely finished speaking before Herschel interrupted calmly," This is getting us nowhere. The fact of the matter is that I worry and son I am asking you to humor an old man can you do that?"

The recalcitrant hunter shrugged as Herschel continued," You think I am wrong and that's fine. Maybe I am about one thing or the other or maybe both but, if I am not I am asking you to make me a promise. I am asking you to take care of those girls…..of my girl…..of Rick's girl like they're your own."

Daryl sucked in several deep breaths trying to calm himself as he read the sincerity on Herschel's features. The man really was concerned about this and he hadn't called Daryl out on the carpet even though the hunter fully expected that he could and should and would be right to. So given all of those facts he felt an overwhelming obligation to humor the man.

Stepping forward he placed a gentle hand on the older man's shoulder as he agreed rather reluctantly," I think you're makin a mountain outta a mole hill Herschel. Ain't nothing gonna happen ta this place but, I promise ya that if it does…..if somethin goes wrong then yeah I'll make Beth and asskicker my priority. I'll get them out and I'll keep them safe. Ya have my word on that. I ain't gonna let anythin happen ta them."

Herschel's relief was palpable as he nodded at the hunter," Thank you. You've put an old man's heart at ease," then rising he moved to exit the tower lamenting," it's well past my bed time and my weary bones are ready for a good night's sleep. Goodnight Daryl."

The hunter just nodded at the older man moving to sit back in the chair he had vacated and reaching for the crumpled pack of Winston's in his pocket. He really needed a smoke to calm his racing thoughts. He'd just fished a cigarette from the pack when Herschel caught his attention by softly calling his name.

Turning to look over his shoulder Daryl found Herschel paused in the doorway to the steps leading out of the tower a complexity of emotion painting his features. The intensity of his regard caused Daryl to squirm for a moment as he struggled to read what Herschel was projecting. Finally the older man smiled proudly at Daryl as he murmured cryptically," I know you don't think you need it but, you have my blessing son," as he turned to exit the tower without giving the hunter a chance to respond.

Shaking his head in frustration the hunter was quick to light the cigarette in his hand, taking a long drag, as the door at the bottom of the tower slammed shut signaling Herschel's departure. Still reeling from the conversation the hunter wondered if any of the previous hour or so had really happened or if it had all been a rather deranged figment of his imagination.

There was no way Herschel had known he had been watching Beth and not brought it up sooner and even if he hadn't wanted to discuss it the hunter was floored by his apparent acceptance of it. Of course it did seem that Herschel recognized that his fascination with Beth was completely harmless and quite possibly that is why he wasn't perturbed by it. But, still the man had just asked him to take his daughter if things went south. His innocent, good, loving daughter and it seemed like Herschel actually believed that he could protect her and not only that but, that Beth had things to offer him as well. As he crushed out the remainder of his cigarette and rose he wondered if the old man was losing his mind from the pressure of the apocalypse because no one in their right mind would pair him and Beth together. He was an old angry emotionally closed off redneck and Beth was the epitome of emotional honesty and openness. Someone like him could only taint someone like her.

Exiting the building lithely he made a promise to himself to stop watching the blonde. His fascination with her needed to cease immediately so that Herschel didn't get any more ideas. Sure he desperately wanted someone to talk to, a friend and confidant, and sure for some reason she struck him as the most likely person to fulfill that role. But, while he might want that, a person to be close too, he knew he didn't need it. He had been a loner most of his life and there was no reason for that to change anytime soon. People just hurt you anyway whether by choice or because they couldn't help it. Daryl didn't think Beth could ever hurt anyone on purpose, she just wasn't the type but, there was no denying that she was too good for this world. Getting close to her would only mean that he would get hurt when she was finally gone and one day she would be just that…..gone. He wasn't going to sign up for that willingly, not now, not ever. People can't hurt you if you don't let them get close. That was his motto in life and he had no plans to change it anytime soon.

It wasn't until several years later that Daryl understood exactly what Herschel had been trying to tell him that long ago night. It wasn't until the tiny blonde force of nature that he had vowed to distance himself from lay exhausted and asleep in her hospital bed and the truth of the bond between them lay sleeping in his arms that he really began to understand. Staring in fascination at the tiny fragile scrap of humanity with brilliant cornflower blues and a shock of auburn hair Daryl was catapulted back in time to long buried memories. This tiny being who was only roughly ninety minutes old finally helped the hunter to understand her grandfather's cryptic declarations.

With a wry smile the hunter finally acknowledged what Herschel had apparently known all along…..that he had simply been a lost wandering spirit traversing a meaningless existence until he had crossed paths with an angel meant to save his very soul. Beth had rescued him from himself, from becoming a lonely and bitter man. Her unyielding acceptance and love had provided a safe place for him to grow and become the man that he was always meant be. The man he was sure Herschel had always seen him as. Beth would say of course that he had saved her just as much if not more so than she had him, and maybe that was true, maybe they had saved each other but, in his mind she would always be the one who had given more.

She had given him absolution in his darkest moments, offered him unconditional love when he couldn't even be sure that he loved himself, and finally she had given him this…..this tiny human being that had his blood flowing through her veins. The girl who he hadn't thought possessed within her the strength for this post-apocalyptic world had conceived his child, carried his child, nurtured his child within her, and in one of the most miraculous events that he had ever been witness to brought his child into this world. Beth was the strongest woman that he had ever met and if he had ever doubted it he had been set straight as he'd watched her labor to deliver his child, her positive optimism never waning, no matter her pain or discomfort. He had been a complete mess, terrified that he would lose her or the baby, or both of them and she had calmly accepted nature's process talking him down from his ledge, and pulling him in to enjoy the miracle of life just as she was. Covered in sweat and grimacing in pain she'd pulled his forehead to hers as she'd whispered fiercely that he had to trust her, that everything was going to be okay, that he needed to calm down and enjoy this, that they would never get these moments back.

"Everything's changing Daryl," she'd gasped," the world is righting itself. Our daughter is going to be here soon. Miracles are happening love," she'd paused to pant through a contraction before continuing," we helped to make this happen. The hard part is over now we get to enjoy the reward."

With a hoarse chuckle he'd observed wryly that it seemed like the hardest part was still to come and with a beautiful smile she'd countered," No love the best part is what's coming now," and as he'd watched his daughter's birth he'd been forced to agree with her. He'd never seen anything more beautiful than watching Beth give life to their child. He'd cried like a baby the minute the doctor thrust the writhing bloody bundle into her arms, unashamed by his emotional display, unable to stop himself from cradling both Beth and the child in his arms. A nurse gently pressed a clean towel into his hands and still crying he'd helped Beth to wipe the tiny silent baby clean as the nurses stood back and let the three of them bond.

When he'd observed rather worriedly that the baby wasn't crying the doctor was quick to reassure him that she was fine and Beth was quick to interject lovingly," Of course she isn't. She's a Dixon after all," turning a brilliant smile upon the man that she loved she breathed, " they only talk when they have something important to say."

Her comment had earned a bashful smile from him and a chuckle from the doctor. The baby had only fussed quietly in order to make her need for food known and after providing the infant with her first meal Beth had drifted into an exhausted slumber. That was ninety minutes ago and Daryl knew he would need to wake her soon. The tiny baby in his arms was beginning to fuss and he knew they had family waiting to meet the tiny new bundle. Doc Matthews had told him the waiting room was flooded with their loved ones and while he knew that Jude was in good hands with Lucy, Carl, and Rick he wanted the toddler here with him and Beth. He'd kept her with them as long as he could until Beth could no longer mask her discomfort, prompting Jude to being fussing, at which point he'd turned her over to their family. But, it was time for her to be back with them. His girls were his life, the very reason he was the man he was today, and just as Herschel had predicted they had made him want to be the man he was today.

Beth's love had created a secure space in which he had blossomed. He would never deny what she had done for him, he loved her fiercely for it. His daughters had given him purpose and he knew without a doubt that there was nothing he wouldn't do to protect them. Before Beth his life had meant very little to him. He hadn't wanted to die but, he hadn't been concerned with much more than basic survival. Now he understood that he hadn't really been living. Living meant taking risks, it meant opening up to people, forging bonds with loved ones, living fully no matter the consequences. He understood that now, understood that in hiding his heart away he had not been living at all.

His musing was interrupted by a quiet knock on Beth's hospital room door. Turning his head he saw Carol peeking around the slightly cracked portal. Rising gracefully he approached his best friend as she drew in a quiet gasp and brought a palm to cover her mouth. Tears filled her eyes as she reached out a shaky hand to run a gentle finger down the baby's downy cheek. Without hesitation Daryl pressed his daughter into Carol's arms.

Carol accepted the infant with practiced ease and several long minutes past as she examined the tiny human being. Finally she raised her eyes to the hunters with a watery smile as she breathed," She's exquisite."

He couldn't help his dopy grin as he agreed," Girl's all her mama."

With a snort Carol countered," Yeah her nose and dark hair are all Beth aren't they," as she gracefully juggled the baby while moving in to give him a warm hug.

Pulling back she reached out a hand to push his hair back off his forehead before leaning in to place a gentle kiss on his brow," I am so happy for you sweetheart."

Grinning down at his daughter he accepted Carol's affection as he breathed with honesty," It's terrifyin Carol."

"It is isn't it," the older woman agreed as she rocked the baby gently but, then with a small smile," it's also going to be one of the most rewarding things that you've ever done."

Seeing the doubt on the hunter's face Carol reassured lovingly," I've never met a man more deserving of this than you Daryl. You're going to be an amazing father. Don't doubt that."

Looking down at his feet for a moment before reaching out to touch his daughter as if to reassure himself the hunter confessed," Herschel said once that Beth would help me to see that I had to change myself. That I had to want to be the person I was always meant to be, that I couldn't change for someone else, that I had to do it for myself. Do ya think I done that enough ta be someone's daddy Carol?"

"Oh sweetheart," Carol crooned moving to press the baby back into her father's arms as she embraced them both," you've always been worthy of being someone's father. You've always been a good man. Herschel saw that and that's why he and Rick asked you to watch over Beth and Jude. Yes you've changed and grown and yes you've become an amazing leader and an even more confident man but, you've always been that person you just didn't realize it."

Pulling back Carol clasped his elbow as she moved to drop a quick kiss on the baby's forehead," That girl," she gestured towards where Beth lay sleeping," she loves you so much honey. She's always seen you for the man you are and you should never doubt that. You've both been through hell and you both deserve to be happy now. Your family is here to love and support you. You're not ever gonna be alone again sweetheart. Especially not in a crowded room. I promise."

Then putting a hand on his shoulder she dipped her head in Beth's direction," I am gonna go sit with Beth why don't you take the little one and go introduce her to everyone. They sent me because they couldn't wait anymore. Maggie's driving the nurses insane."

"I bet she is," the hunter smirked before throwing a worried glance over his shoulder towards Beth.

"I've got her," Carol reassured before shoeing him gently,"go on."

"Girls gonna need ta eat soon," the hunter murmured obviously stalling.

Giving him a patient smile Carol urged," She'll be fine for a few more minutes which is more than I can so for those poor nurses with Maggie hounding them. Go."

Finally giving in he turned to head out the door and towards the waiting room. He could hear the cacophony of voices as he neared the room. Glancing down he watched his daughter as she snuffled softly before turning to snuggle trustingly into his chest. His heart clenched violently, he had no idea it was possible to love someone so much, as his arms tightened around the infant.

Rick stepped out of the waiting room then and Daryl didn't miss the surprise on his brother's features as he took him in. His gaze falling to the tiny swaddled bundle in Daryl's arms Rick's eyes filled with tears as he questioned hoarsely," Is that her?"

Daryl could only nod forcing his own tears back as Rick stepped closer to examine the infant. Sucking in a deep breath as he took in the child the sheriff asked as if afraid of the answer," Beth?"

Releasing his own long held breath Daryl smiled proudly," Handled the birth better than me. She's restin."

The tension flowed out of Rick then, his intense gaze never leaving the baby, as a grin replaced the worried expression he'd been wearing," Congratulations brother."

Daryl accepted Rick's hearty back slap unable to suppress a huge grin as he accepted the sentiments and responded," You were right man this is the best day a my life. I ain't never experienced nothin like this before."

Grinning like a fool himself Rick put a hand on his brother's back to guide him into the waiting room," Just wait man it gets better," then more softly," come on it's time to introduce the newest member of our clan to the rest of the family."

Maggie had just about bowled him over in order to get to the baby when Daryl had the sudden and profound realization that Rick was right. These people were all his family and he was no longer a periphery participant in this familial unit. He was a deep integral part of what held it together, of what made it strong, he was important to these people and they were just as important to him. Beth and Judith, the baby in his arms, they were his heart and soul but these people were his body. One could not exist without the other. An empty body was meaningless, a simple shell without consequence, and a heart with no body was the equivalent of existence with no function.

The richness of the blessings bestowed upon Daryl almost brought him to his knees as he realized finally what Herschel had been saying all along. Before Beth he had simply been a shell, a member of the family but, lacking any real heart. Now finally he was complete, his searching over, his heart full. He was loved….so very loved…..and he was so full of love. Full to the point of bursting for each and every one of these people…..for each and every member of his family. Most likely they had loved and accepted him all along but, it had taken this very moment for him to accept himself and therefore what they were offering. True love wasn't about giving someone what you thought they wanted it was about giving them what you knew they needed. Herschel had loved him and that's why he had offered him both his daughter and his blessing that long ago night. Not because it's what he thought Daryl wanted but, because in his eyes it was what Daryl had needed and in that moment the hunter knew that's the type of father he wanted to be. He wanted his children to remember always that they were profoundly loved and that in loving them he had given them not always what they thought they wanted but, instead what they needed.


End file.
